Forgiveness After Death (Part Three)

While the man or woman is in the grave and he is in a very difficult state because of his sins…suddenly the grave starts to expand with light and space and turns into a piece of paradise!!!…..what happened!!?

His son or daughter in dunia started praying for him either during the prayer or in Omra or in any other state….the most important thing is that the effect of that dua reached this person until his grave… can imagine how that moment is filled with happiness, especially that the chances for forgiveness in the grave have decreased and became only three compared to when he was alive and moving in this dunia…Now he/she has only three chances full stop….
The prophet PBUH said: : “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); knowledge which is beneficial; or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (the deceased).” [Sahih Muslim]

So have you prepared a descendant or a walad saleh who will pray for you on that day?….. Subhana Allah how can a son or daughter be of such a big help for his/her parents!!!

My dear sister and brother, you have given your son and daughter a lot but the best gift they can give back to you is for them to be pious and pray and ask for forgiveness for you.
The Prophet PBUH said: A man will be raised some degrees in Paradise and he will say, ‘For what reason I am receiving this?’ He will be told, ‘Because of your son asking forgiveness for you.’” (Bukhari 1613)

But how do you expect Allah SWT to accept the dua of your son or daughter if they don’t pray!!?

Can’t you see that we focus on urging them to do simple things so eagerly and regularly and we sometimes leave the matter of deen and prayer as a least of our priorities!?

I am sure by now some of you have questions on what to do to help your children become pious……and here are some examples of the questions running in your head right now….

Question 1 : I have children and they don’t pray and they commit sins and I tried so much to advise them but they are not listening…..will I be punished for their sins?

Answer: First don’t be sad, there are so many pious people who have children who are not pious and even some of them are prophets like Nouh PBUH, he had a son who was a Kafir (disbeliever) but that did not affect him…if you did your part and tried hard to guide them and they did not follow then there is nothing on you because hedaya and guidance are from Allah SWT.
Allah SWT said: {إِنَّكَ لَا تَهْدِي مَنْ أَحْبَبْتَ وَلَكِنَّ اللَّهَ يَهْدِي مَن يَشَاء }

(Indeed, [O Muhammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided) Surat Al Qassas 56

Question 2: What can I do to guide him?….he/she really occupies my time and my thinking?

Answer: let’s first know the age of your children

Example: 7 and 10 years old

At this age there is one thing that always works and that is a good company and friendship, make sure to take them to a weekly lecture or a lesson for Tahfeed Qura’an or centers which have good intellectual activities and make sure that he/she has a good friendship…this works most of the time because kids at this age listen to each other and follow each other more than they listen and follow the parents.

Question 3: I have a problem with my children when it comes to praying…how can I make them pray?

Answer: You want your child to pray?……Ok….. but before I answer you read this story first:

One of the sisters said: my daughter was in primary grade 5 and praying was always an issue with her. One day I called her and asked her to go pray and I followed her to see what she will do. She put the prayer matt on the floor then she came out. I asked her: did you pray? She said: Yes.
I was so mad that she lied to me and without feeling I slapped her and screamed at her and I cried and I blamed her and tried to scare her but nothing worked!!

And one day my friend told me that she visited a friend of her and when it was the time for prayer, all her kids got up and prayed without any reminder or prompting from their parent and asked her friend: how did you get your children to pray like that without any effort from you?

The friend answered: I don’t have much to say, it’s just that before I get married I used to read this dua all the time and when I got married and had children I never stopped reading it until this day…..

So since the day my friend told me the story, I started reading the same dua in my soujoud, after my prayer, before I say salam, after witr and in every chance I know that dua would be Mustajab (accepted)…. And now my daughter is in high school and she prays all the prayers Alhamdulilah and she is the one who wakes us all up to pray……

I know by now you are all so excited to know what is this dua!? The dua is in Surat Ibrahim :

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلاَةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِي رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاء

Rabbi ijAAalnee muqeema assalatiwamin thurriyyatee rabbana wtaqabbal duAAa

My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication.

Your kids will not have hedaya to pray unless Allah SWT wants hedaya for them, so take a short cut and pray to Allah to give them the hedaya…and Allah is Raheem and wants the best for you and he wants to please you and make you happy and he will accept your Duaa in shaa Allah..

BUT…one second!!! …..Duaa on its own is not enough!!!

You must work and put some effort in raising your children well because Allah SWT who commanded you to pray also commanded you to raise your kids well……Allah SWT said in Surat Al Tahreem:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ

(O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones) 6

So you must work hard and not just make duaa and do nothing!!!

Question 4: What can I do?

Answer: Kids do things when they get used to them, even if they don’t like doing them but if you get them used to it, they will eventually follow and do….example: they don’t like to brush their teeth or they don’t like to take a shower on their own but because since they are little you keep reminding them and you follow up and they eventually follow….same thing when it comes to praying…Allah SWT commanded us to start teaching our kids to pray from age of 7 years old so if he or she has to get up with you to pray every prayer since the age of 7 they will eventually get used to it and follow….You can also be creative with them in making them like salah

Question 5: How?

Answer: For example: your child comes to you and tells you that he or she wants a toy from a certain store and even though you are going to buy it for him, instead, tell him: ok, make sure when you go to pray to ask Allah SWT in your soujoud that we find the toy and that I have the money to get it for you …so he will go to pray and ask for the toy and you will get it for him and he will be very happy…so he will eventually get connected to salah and will start to like it because his wishes are coming true through salah and he will love his lord and that is what we want…

Question 6: Great idea, do you have another idea?

Answer: Yes I do. Make sure to link the time of salah with happy times, example: make the time of salah as the break from studying so they get a break and some rest and avoid linking the time of salah with their playing time, example: if you are going to take them out to play somewhere, don’t take them at a time where they will have to stop playing and go pray so they don’t feel that salah interrupted their happiness. Instead let the time for fun is after Salah so they can look forward to praying and having fun after that.

Question 7: what about my 10 years old son or daughter, how can I make him/her like Salah?

Answer: Give him/ her the responsibility for reminding everyone of the time of salah. The child at this age love to feel important and responsible for something at home.
And the best way to connect boys at this age to prayer is to make them so connected to the Masjid (Mosque) this is the strongest way ever and by this the minute he hears the athan he will run to the masjid…

Question 8: How can I connect him to the masjid?

Answer: Very simple, If he makes friends with the kids of the neighbors in the masjid, he will go to the masjid on every fardh and that will be the time for the friends to meet and he will get used to going there even if his friends travel or move he will still go to the masjid because he got used to going all the time.

May Allah guide our children and give them hedaya and make them pious children Ameen.


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